I Understand Now

My grampie passed away almost 15 years ago. My grandparents were only a few months shy of celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Almost a year after his death my grammy called. Shortly into the discussion she made this weird noise. There was a pause. After a few moments she was sobbing uncontrollably. This took me by surprise. I had never seen or heard my grammy cry. Through the tears she told me how hard it was without my grampie. She missed him and told me that he had been her best friend. I still get choked up when I think about that conversation.

Back then I didn't grasp the concept of my grampie being her best friend. They had been married for almost 50 years, raised two children, had a house, and grew old together. When I thought of the term 'best friend', marriage wasn't the first thing that came to my mind. Most everyone has a best friend. I thought it was the people you went shopping with or hung out with on the weekends. It's the friend that you've had since high school and you couldn't imagine your life without them.

At the age of "almost 36", I now understand what my grammy was talking about. Not too long ago a friend of mine asked me how I knew Lori was "the one." Like myself, my friend had been through a few crappy relationships. She had finally met someone who she thinks is "the one." She asked, "How do you know?" I told her that I don't like dishing out advice on relationships, but if I had to disperse one bit of advice it would be to make sure you like each other. In other words, make sure there is a strong foundation of friendship.

I always tell people that I'm married to my best friend. I am being truthful when I say that. Lori and I were great friends a couple of years before getting into a relationship. Over the years, not only has the relationship grown, but so has that friendship. We've had a lot of great times, but we've also had some really bad times.

We've both seen each other at our darkest moments. It wasn't the hearts, flowers and romance that got us through those times. It was the friendship. When the "honeymoon phase" wears off and reality sets in, you're going to need a strong friendship to get you through the moments when life throws it's infamous curve balls.

Even after all these years, we still sit up for hours talking and laughing. We still have a great time when we go out. We bicker over stupid things. Sometimes we'll read a cooking magazine together drooling over the pictures and pointing out all the recipes we want to try. We cry during chic flicks and those horribly sappy holiday commercials. She knows when I'm not feeling well even though I try to mask it with DayQuil and lozenges. She knows when I need to be left alone for a few minutes, but is always close by just in case.

I understand why my grammy cried that day. Although it's been almost 15 years, not a day goes by that she doesn't miss him. She used to tell me that when it's her time to go, they'll be together again. I honestly believe they will.

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